I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize