Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
