I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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