I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
