the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
