I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
