I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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