mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
