Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
