I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
