Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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