Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
