did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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