quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have fence marks all over my body
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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