names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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