She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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