she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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