my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
