We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
