no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
