I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
