Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
