so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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