Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
