ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
