A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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