you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
