hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize