also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
