You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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