Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize