I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
