If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
