that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
thus making me awesome and them whores
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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