worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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