I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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