Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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