I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I would fuck him just for his dog
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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