guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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