I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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