Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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