is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think my moral compass just broke
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
