i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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