Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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