what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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