whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
