fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize