someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i think im in europe. pls send help
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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