the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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