Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
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So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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