You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
