I'm drive I can fine osifer
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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