(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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