I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
