Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
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Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
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I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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