Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
That accounts for only three of the penises
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
