I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
accomplished twins. life is a go
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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