I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
